question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
