I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
