Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
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