he thought i was a dude.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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