my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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