Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
