I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
