I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
