Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
