some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
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