so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
