I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
