Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
