just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Randomize
