what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
