their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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