i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
