When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
