Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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