I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Randomize
