You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
