So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
