It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
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