Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
