so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Randomize
