Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
