she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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