Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
