Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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