i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
