Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I am naked and annoyed.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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