is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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