So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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