I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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