You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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