return my video game
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
