ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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