Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Let's get the cat blown out
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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