so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Randomize
