none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
We had to coat check the pizza.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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