I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
