How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
