Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
