she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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