Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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