I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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