I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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