Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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