I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
