Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Randomize
